The renowned Croatian psychologist emphasizes that undivided attention is the most valuable gift parents can give their children, and summer holidays provide the perfect opportunity to step away from screens.
Prof. Gordana Buljan Flander, PhD, a prominent Croatian psychologist, in her post dated August 5, 2026, calls on families to embrace what she terms a 'digital detox.' Drawing a parallel between the ancient biblical message of fasting and the challenges of modern life, she suggests that abstaining from constant screen exposure can pave the way to building deeper family relationships.
The inspiration for this reflection came after hearing a sermon on media fasting. It was further deepened by a conversation with a friend, a priest who is also a psychologist and psychotherapist. He pointed her to Isaiah 58, where true fasting is not interpreted as mere abstinence, but as a turning towards others-through compassion, helping those in need, and nurturing interpersonal bonds.
The psychologist stresses that technology itself is not the enemy. Phones and social media facilitate work and keep people connected. The key problem arises when they begin to take time that should be devoted to those closest to us. She poses the question: how many times a day does a child want to share something with a parent, only to receive the response, 'Just a sec'?
In that crucial moment, she notes, the child may have wanted to tell something important, seek comfort or understanding, but instead receives the message that the screen is more important than they are. She observes a similar pattern on holidays, where people often spend more time photographing moments than actually living them.
"Today, in a time when many of us are not trapped by a lack of food, but by an excess of information, notifications, and content that constantly diverts our gaze from our loved ones, friends, and even our partners and children," Gordana Buljan Flander told Narod.hr.
As a clinical psychologist, Buljan Flander often encounters parents who wish to raise empathetic and emotionally stable children. She warns that such values cannot be developed through advice or screen content. Children constantly observe their parents' behavior-how they treat their partner, the waiter, the cleaning lady, or an elderly person in need of help.
"Children do not become empathetic because we explained what empathy is, but because they have experienced it multiple times within their own family," the psychologist points out.
Numerous studies confirm that a child's brain develops through interactions with other human beings. No app can replace a parent's interested gaze, shared laughter, or a hug. It is through such everyday situations that a child builds a sense of security, belonging, and trust in the world around them.
The psychologist reminds us of an important conclusion from many studies-children do not develop a sense of security merely from the physical presence of their parents. A sense of security is born when parents are emotionally available, when the child feels truly seen, heard, and that their words matter.
"Sometimes, half an hour of our full attention will be worth more than a whole day spent in the same room while everyone stares at their own phone," she emphasizes.
Summer holidays present an ideal opportunity for families to introduce screen-free time together-whether it's a few hours a day or specific days of the week. It is especially important that parents are the first to put down their devices. This sends a much stronger message to children than any prohibition: the message that they are more important than any notification, email, or social media post.
When screens are set aside, space opens up for shared activities-board games, swimming, cycling, evening walks, and long conversations where parents can learn what their child thinks, fears, delights in, or dreams about. It is also an opportunity to do good together, such as helping an elderly neighbor with shopping or visiting grandparents without rushing.
At the end of her post, Buljan Flander returns to Isaiah's message. If true fasting is about lifting our gaze from ourselves and noticing others, then in today's world, it could also mean lifting our gaze from screens to see each other again-especially our own children. Because children will not remember what phone their parents had, but whether they built sandcastles together, had long talks, and felt seen and loved.
